In an interesting discussion with soulsong last night I worked out what was wrong with the end of chapter one. A couple of people have now read it and found there to be an undeniable conclusion to the chapter and not so much of a link into the next stage of the story…
Currently it ends very visually with Ben and Hanna turning round to see Helen sitting in the roadside cafe. Visually this works, with the last image being that of the sister, returned to the family from the mountains, with the next chapter picking up straight from there and ending an intro (before the opening titles) with the relevation from Helen:
“I’m not going back to Reykjavik.”
What I need to do is move the intro forward to the end of chapter one and end the chapter on that note, thus forcing the reader to want to know why she’s not going back to Reykjavik: why she is going to put herself back in danger and go back out there.
How does one get to read the whole chapter?
You have to have it sent to you as a PDF. To have it sent to to you as a PDF you first need to:
a) be a trusted friend, and:
b) have asked to read it or have expressed an interest in reading it
If either or both of these things are You, apply within…