Okay, I’m trying to write Hanna Katla’s songs – she’s Icelandic, she sings in English and Icelandic, in a guitar rock-pop band a bit like these guys: ( Írafár ) – but I’m crap at writing songs! I need help! Is it like writing poetry but with music, or what?! What do you think of these attempts? Please comment honestly and as usefully as you can…
Open Your Eyes
Open your eyes
Listen to your senses
See. The journey you take.
Cast out your inhibitions
See what you’re meant to see
Open your eyes
Listen to the inner you
Open your eyes.
See the truth around you
See the lives, See the loves
That touch you.
Open yourself
To the world out there—a
Highland Wind
Highland, Dark
A light in the night
The wind that blows
Standing; cold on your face.
Sensing—
Seeking; The warmth of home
just my opinion
Okay, here’s my criticism, esp. wrt the first song — I think that where you’re going wrong is that your lyrics don’t have any hidden depths – they just put everything out there. IMO, the best songs (and poems) are those with layers of imagery which hide a message underneath them (don’t ask me why Mending Wall by Robert Frost should come to mind off the top of my head (ugh that sounds dreadful!))
For my money, the second set of lyrics works much better because the ideas of light, wind, home are not necessarily to be taken literally; they can be interpreted in a number of ways.
I don’t know if that’s any help at all, but there you go 🙂
Re: just my opinion
No that’s helpful. So, head in the direction of *underneath meaning* and a good poem if you like. Do I need to have a sense of the rhythm of the tune in my head, or can I just go for good words. Probably the latter…
Sorry, these questions must sound so dense?!!
Both poetry and song lyrics rely on rhythm. Some songwriters are more ‘poetic’ than others (think Bob Dylan, Nick Cave). These lyrics sound a bit more like straight rock lyrics – more Scorpions than Bjork 😉
Hmmn, I don’t think I expressed myself very well there. When I said I don’t have to worry about rhythm and tune, I guess I was more meaning, I don’t have to worry about composing the music itself, as long as the words have the rhythm… Ggrrr – I’m really *not* expressing myself at all well am I?!!
Anyone know what I’m trying to say, and can express myself better??
It’s good that you see them more like straight rock lyrics as I think that’s what I was going for! ^_^ Thanks…
When I wrote song lyrics I didn’t do the music, no – I wrote the lyrics and my friend put suitable music to them. Part of the problem I have with lyrics ‘on the page’ is that few work without the music – few stand alone as poetry, and consequently can seem a bit flat on the page.
Like I told you online today, I’m moving my LJ. I’ve already added you. I only want to keep one LJ from now on. No more local people [especially ex’s] should be reading my LJ.