Packaged up my entries for the Fish Unpublished Novel and the Co Durham Crossover novel competitions today, and despatched them off. What will happen next I wonder…?

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Now, go forth and listen to this now! No really, you must! It’s one of the cleverest, funniest, most truthful things you’ll ever hear! Listen now, I employ you, you really must…

( jeremy hardy speaks to the nation )