Before yesterday, although I went for Production Editor jobs because I thought I wanted a change; I thought it seemed like fun, I was never the less scared by the prospect. My current, soon to be old, job is safe, it’s easy. I can turn up, do the work, go home, and if I’m lucky exert no more the tiniest portion of my brain. I continued with it for years longer than most because it was a good place to work. I’ve had my ups and downs (including some very traumatic downs) but I’ve also had a good bunch of supportive people around me. The yearly bonus good, and the discount on books is frightingly attractive. Recently I’ve managed to get more work, different work, out of my managers, and that’s made the job more interesting whilst still being secure, and confined to my contracted hours. In some ways I could be tempted to stay like that for longer…

But I’ve been in that position for five years, and although my job has not been exactly the same for more than one of those five years, it still is basically the same job. Almost every day for last five years (with a brief hiatus about a year ago) I have received some electronic files for a mathematically absurd astronomical journal, whacked them through some automatic process, nursed them through some manual one’s and co-erced them live on the web. Do I really, if I’m honest, want to be doing this in five years time.

At my interview last week, I was brutally honest when asked what my career plans were. I said, if you told me what I would be doing in five years time, five years ago, I wouldn’t have believed you. Doesn’t mean I’ve regret anything. I’ve learnt alot, and not just technical skills. I’m still learning. The prospect of change is still scary though…

Yesterday? I was high. I was light-footed and grinnng inanely. If people who haven’t been trusted with the information I should not be telling, haven’t guessed what’s up, they must be blind. Somethings gotta be up with Thomas – they’ve had to have seen it.

Today? Today’s been different. To take this new Production Editor job I’m having to take a small pay cut, and I don’t get a huge salary to start with. When I was going into all of this, I thought that I might have to take some kind of paycut, and it seem like a factor. Not now though. That really isn’t important to me. Yes, I won’t be able to afford so many dvds, might need to tighten my belt hear and their for a while, but we won’t be forever, and truth is there’s a whole lot of people worse off. Really, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t feature in the equation. I’m excited for my new job, and the next month and a half are going to seem like a year or more. I’m giddy with excitement for it, and I’m looking back. It feels whole-heardedly right.

Plus, of course, they chose Me! And if that doesn’t make you all giddy inside, what will? Me! They chose Me!

[it is my intention that this post becomes public – however due to the subject matter I still bound under acts of confidentiallity pending an official announcement]