Posted here, mostly for I own benefit, and to stop ‘head-hopping’ through my novel. Blood & Fire will consist of scenes that take a third person, limited POV from mainly (but not exclusively) Eleanor, Ben and Hanna but with third person, omnisicent scenes inserted in occasionally. It should work with the present tense style… *crosses fingers*
(14:29:33) Lemony: OK so whose POV is this sentence in? Thomas frowns at Lemony.
(14:29:59) Thomas: Lemony?
(14:30:43) Lemony: If the para is in LEMONY, then it could be, but would you automatically assume ‘LEMONY’ if this was the first sentence in a novel/scene/chapter?
(14:31:16) Thomas: no
(14:31:46) Thomas: but if it was in Thomas then I might expect there to be a little more about why Thomas was frowning at Lemony
(14:31:49) Thomas: *shrugs*
(14:32:25) Lemony: Thomas, angry now, kicks a scared-looking Lemony up the arse.
(14:32:46) Lemony: whose POV and why
(14:33:02) Thomas: Thomas
(14:33:16) Thomas: because he’s angry and he’s seeing Lemony looking scared
(14:34:03) Lemony: exactly.
(14:34:07) Lemony: thats the rule.
(14:34:32) Lemony: The sentence tells us what he feels, but what it looks like Lemony is feeling.
(14:34:40) Lemony: so…
(14:35:26) Lemony: ‘Thomas, absolutely furious, sends a letter-bomb to Lemony’s house, where she waits in abject terror, thinking ‘Oh shit, I’m in trouble now!’
(14:35:35) Lemony: …POV?
(14:36:56) Thomas: Is this a trick question? both?
(14:37:05) Lemony: yes both, why?
(14:37:10) Thomas: starts in Thomas but then head-hops to Lemony
(14:37:14) Lemony: YES
(14:37:16) Lemony: :):):)
(14:37:40) Lemony: And that’s it… just print this out and stick it by your computer
(14:38:04) Thomas: Okay, don’t tell me the answer to this, but here’s one which is in Ben’s dad POV:
(14:38:11) Thomas: His father looks up, interested, expecting a theoretical and deeply scientific discussion akin to those they’ve had at many a breakfast time.
(14:38:31) Thomas: I need it to be in Ben’s POV, so… (don’t tell me)
(14:39:15) Lemony: His father looks up in interest, presumably expecting a… time.’
(14:39:50) Lemony: although ‘in interest’ may be slightly dodgy.
(14:40:08) Lemony: all the little slightly dodgy bits add up, if there’s only a few, reader won’t mind, imo
(14:40:18) Thomas: His father raises his eyebrows, looking interested, presumably expecting a theoretical and deeply scientific discussion akin to those they’ve had at many a breakfast time.
(14:40:29) Thomas: I said don’t tell me
(14:40:33) Thomas: 😉
(14:40:37) Lemony: that would def be in BEN’s with no bugs
(14:41:05) Thomas: I did the first bit myself although I pinched your presumably
(14:41:10) Thomas: nice word, presumably
(14:41:24) Thomas: *stashes word away in secret shepline vault*