Google might be good at finding out what odd passtimes the bloke two pods down from you at work likes doing in his spare time, or for finding irresistably cute pictures of cats, but it does seem a little lacking in the travel directions department. I first heard about this on Friday’s The Now Show. Try going to Google driving directions and look up going from Chicago to London.

The journey starts off innocently enough…

1. Head east on S Lumber St toward S Halsted St (452 ft)
2. Turn left at S Halsted St (0.3 mi)

…and leads you on via toll road and the likes through the states of Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and finally New York. Even there it seems straight forward enough: merge onto Atlantic Avenue, and turn right at Central Street, and again at Long Wharf. So far, so good, you might think. But oh no, and please check this out for yourself, Step 20 of your road trip extraordinaire:

20. Swim across the Atlantic Ocean (3,462 mi; 29 days 0 hours)

Yes, that’s right swim 3,462 miles of open ocean 29 days 0 hours precisely, but it gets better, oh yes:

22. At the roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto E05/Pont Vauban

Arrive France. That’s right, it’s not even the right country! The directions take you up through Normandy and onto a ferry at Boulougne to Dover. Or at least I think its a ferry – unlike the very explicit directions of what to do upon reaching Long Wharf in New York City, the instuctions in Europe are altogether more vague:

36. At the roundabout, take the 2nd exit (0.4 mi; 1 min)
37. Slight right at Dover – Boulougne-sur-Mer (30.1 mi; 1 hour 50 mins )
38. Continue on Dover – Boulogne-sur-Mer 0.2 mi
39. Continue on Eastern Service Rd (0.3 mi; 2 mins)

Well, I know what I’ll be doing for my holiday (not)!