I had a part review of the first eight chapter of Mr Tumnal from Sophie today. Whilst the first part of her critique filled me with horror:
I’m enjoying your story, it’s quite a mystery. I still feel as if the narration is quite stream of consciousness because of the shifts in tense.
Umm, actually, if there are changes of tenses then that’s a mistake on my part – brought on by me writing this novel in the more conventional past tense whilst my last novel was in present tense. Hardly really surprising that I’m getting myself in a muddle really. However the rest of the review filled me with squeeful joy…
This makes his memory-lapses/reality-losses all the more mysterious and unnerving. Some of it is a dream, perhaps? That would explain why he ignores Sarah and why she has such an adult voice. She is far more grown-up than him and encourages him to take care of himself. I fear she and Amanda are dead and he’s a bit nuts. All will become clear! I love the way he justifies his interest in Kathrine by saying they share the same language. They SO don’t talk the same at all :o) but they seem to fancy each other, which is nice. For once something concrete seems to be happening for Louis.
I’m loving the interpretation that is going on here; the questions and the guesswork as to what is going on. As long as I can carry the reader through this convincingly to what is actually going on then I am really happy with this response. 🙂
51585 / 80000 words. 64% done!