This evening, instead of making for my mad dash to a sweat-inducing bus, I met up with a couple of old schoolfriends – Ricki and Natasha – who I haven’t seen in just about 20 years (Rachel and Joe’s wedding on the 2nd(?) September to be precise). I say schoolfriends but that term has always been an awkward one for me. I had a group of people, usually different one’s at times, whom I was friendly with whilst at school, but save from Patrick (the closest thing to a best friend up until they rejigged our classes aged 11, and then Rachel from Sixth Form and ever since, I’ve never really had any one single, or group of, constants in my peer groups. I guess I always thought I was lonely and a ‘Billy No-Mates’.

Apparently that’s not how Natasha remembers me, I found out today. Quiet and shy maybe, but not a Billy no-mates…

I try not to live my life by regrets and if onlys, but I do wish that I knew now what I know about myself back then. Back then, I would never have ended up meeting a couple of people from school who I hadn’t seen for 20 years (and yes, I was really scared today – I don’t know why but I was…). Then again, I wouldn’t be who I am today, with the very good life that I have today if I had been different back then.

At least I can give thanks to the internet. Not only has it given me a job now (just what would the the job title Web and Digital Media Officer have meant back then when there was neither the web nor digital media…?!), but it has given me my life, my wife, and access to the friendships I wasn’t confident enough to realise I had back then.

Originally published at shepline: the journal. You can comment here or there.