So today the plan was to get up not too far off the normal schoolday time, do some productive jobs like cleaning up after 8 cats, feeding the hoards, and generally making the place nice. Then I would settle down to read lots or write lots (to Mr Tumnal), cook lunch for when Emma gets back from work, before heading out to Oxford in the late afternoon before being back in time for the Ocado order. That, as I say, was the plan.

What actually happened was me going back to sleep until half nine and then me being incredibly slow about things until I had barely done the house-being-presentable stuff before Emma got home. Lunch was later than I had envisaged and the weather outside is looking anything but festive.

We’re going to go into Oxford tomorrow afternoon for a bit of a wander.

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Tongiht we went out to celebrate with a meal. We decided to try out the new restaurant in Bicester in the converted chapel. Trintity, Bicester is a really nice place. Excellent food and friendly service. A great night out…

Yay, yay, and thrice yay!!

Edited to add: Not that today can be any more crazy but apparently a Newsnight crew are pitching up later at my parents house to interview my Dad. Tune in tonight for more…

In the end, it seemed to go really well, and I was pretty articulate most of the time. I don’t know whether this was as a result of me, in response to the HR request for ‘any special arrangements we need to make’ I provided them with a Bill-provided declaration of my aspergers:

As regards my interview I would like to notify you that I have received coaching for Aspergers Syndrome.

Asperger’s Syndrome has a slight influence on the way I behave, and interviews are naturally a little stressful, so these notes may be helpful to us all:-

– I may need a little extra time to process questions, so moments of silence may be helpful to me, although that does not mean I am not understanding -l just taking a little more time to arrive a response.

– Multiple questions, or confusing comments may be a little difficult for me to untangle – one thing at a time helps me no end.

– I may sometimes seem as though I go off at a tangent – it makes sense to me at the time and the most helpful thing an interviewer can do is to bring me back by re-stating the question

– I am a little bit likely to miss social cues, so if the atmosphere feels uncomfortable to you, or if I seem to be unsure of what is expected, just tell me what you expect me to do. This can feel a little odd, but I will grateful!

Nothing was said about this, and I didn’t feel that I needed to reiterate it, as I actually got the feeling that the message had, probably, got through from HR (it should have done), but I do wonder whether me knowing that they know something subconciously made me perform better? I don’t know. There are five other candidates who have been shortlisted, so we shall see what we shall see. Hopefully it won’t be too long.

It seems that I am going to work tomorrow. Umm, that’s going to be a bit of a shock to the old system… :-

^†Use according to your personal preference.

Whilst in Oxford I had a missed call from the agency, asking me to phone back asap, so I wandered into the offices instead. I have an interview set up now for tomorrow morning for a two-month rolling contract, which they say *might* go permanent…

I also got (at a not trivial expense) a cable, which I think, should make it possible to view photographs and video from my computer on the tele. Here’s to crossed fingers…

It’s awkward though, before the wedding I coped with unemployment because although I wasn’t earning money I was at least useful as a full time wedding planner. Now though, I don’t have that *excuse* but finding jobs, even these completely ‘out of my area of experience’ is hard.

And tomorrow I have to go to my bi-weekly visit to the jobsworth centre for my misley pound of flesh…

At 3.30pm the guy did call me and I had to leap straight into interview mode, but when they call it an ‘informal’ chat, just what does that mean?

I think I did okay but as always these things are impossible to judge. I suspect though, that they might be looking for someone who is less the designer and more the hardcore developer and/or IT nerd – all together more geeky than me.

It seems like an intesting job, helping to create their new intranet site, and the the interview went surprisingly well so I’m really feeling quite positive about things… 🙂

Another thing to take the sting out of the situation was to get on my bike and cycle into the town centre to sign on at the jobcentre. That is, that was the plan before I discovered that there is no jobcentre in Bicester. Strangely, knowing that there obviously is no unemployment in Bicester is not much of a comfort to me – not having a job must be just in my head after all!

There is a branch of Subway in the premises-formerly-occupied-by-the-jobcentre. I can’t help but imagine that the last jobs to be handed out there before they were closed were for a certain well-known branch of sandwich-sellers.

A third reason to not be too upset by not being at work today, or rather not having work to go to, is that Emma was at home today. Okay, so its not good – not good at all – that she was at home ‘cos she wasn’t well, but it was nice having her around.

I’ve managed to sign on online, which was tedious to the point of losing the will to live, but it did leave me free to head into Oxford and do some stuff I needed to do. Not just signing up with an agency that actually looks promising but also finding menu holders for the table decs at the wedding and researching travel books to Scotland.

Excuse me, but I think I need to go and rant and scream and have a bloody good cry…

Whilst I don’t want to spend this money on living (it would barely cover one month of missing salary), I can’t leave myself completely out of a safety net. Last night I talked to Em about it and she reassured me that whatever happens I will get my printing press whatever happens, even if we both have to save up for it to replenish any used funds.

I will have my lasting memory to Grannie and Grandpa.

This is fantastic news!!

Good luck Em! xx

Then, tonight I realised what it is that is wrong. Today is exactly one year since I left BlackwellWiley. I really thought – I really hoped – that sometime in the intervening year I would land myself a new permanent job; a new career.

Of course it’s not like I’ve been without work for the whole year. It’s not like I haven’t had some nice holidays. It’s not even as if I haven’t had the best year ever with Emma, but it has been a year tinged with uncertainty, and I guess an uneasy curiosity as to whether I ever will succeed again at an interview. Just one of those really low evenings I guess.

The upshot is that the agency are now chasing OUP for their cut of the ‘finder’s fee’ which quite frankly I don’t think they deserve (for reasons stated above). Not that this is really anything to do with me. OUP still want me and are prepared to pay for me. This is something for them to sort out for themselves with the agency.

What is it with the job title agent though? Is it code for ‘bull shitter’, ‘cos they seem to be all like that, with the gift of the gab and making money out of getting what they want through sly words. How sly is it to find out what I’m doing job-wise by pretending to be another agent?!!

Still, at least I’ve got to work at a time that means that with the extra time I put in on Wednesday and Thursday, I won’t have to stay late tonight to make up my money.

2. Timing is a wonderful thing. I left a bit early so that I knew I would get to the vets alright. I got back to the car, and was about to plug my phone into the car when this number I don’t know started to ring. I answered. It was only the agent from Cream – one of the agencies when it comes to web/creative jobs! I’d slung in an application for a job the other day, and she was phoning to find out a bit more about me before submitting my cv in to the company. Yayy, go me! Every time that I have previously applied for a job via Cream, its come back with ‘your cv is interesting but our clients are looking for people who have worked in design studios’ answer.

3. I got home just after 5 o’clock, to discover that Arthur seemed to be (encouragingly) a bit more perky. I also missed by seconds another call from Claire at Cream. Hrmm…? I was about to phone back when she phoned my landline. The company, Clere, based in Newbury would only like to inteview me. They were offering tomorrow, but that’s just a little too soon, so the interview is next Tuesday. Looking up the directions on google, it looks like a 53 minute commute without traffic, so pretty nasty from Bicester every morning. But if, once I’d got any kind of probation over and done with, I moved, then Abingdon would come into the frey – or somewhere like that. It’s not like Emma and I haven’t been talking about future, and that would necessitate a move anyway…

Now, I have got back ‘on the bike’ and put in another application – or rather a couple of applications – for Production Editors jobs on Humanities/Geography journals at Taylor & Francis. It occurs to me, that the reasons why that role didn’t work out at Blackwell were odd and unusual (and here, Helen ‘the best manager in the world’ Birchall would agree with me). I think a lot of it had to do with the highly technical, long half-life nature of the journals, and also the artificial way that that I took over. Usually you ‘sink or swim’ into new jobs and if you mess up, you learn from it, and don’t make the mistake again. But I wasn’t able to mess up because my work was being checked by the previous encumbant who had a very scientific background. And I didn have lots of successes and strengths, learnt a lot through that time and improved greatly. No wonder then, that my brain couldn’t cope with everthing it was supposed to… :-

So yes, will give it another go. If I can preserve the redundancy payment then what have I got to loose?

Apparently it’s the same old story – not enough experience…

Oh. Bugger. The 1 month crappily-paid temp job that high street agency was considering me for has just filled the place with someone else. Damn me and my honesty, I’m being screwed big time for it now. I can feel the 6 month slipping further from my grasp, and now I’ve lost the last chance of having something for Tuesday. I should have looked after no one other than myself and taken v. temp job and then quit out of it if things changed, but no, I have to tell the truth and…

An afternoon signing on with other agencies. Umm, not quite. I did go into Oxford with every intention of signing on at some more, but instead met up with Louise (who was killing time before her train back to Edinburgh after her meeting with the wiggly worm man) for a drink. Then I considered mobile phones in Carphone Warehouse and headed on down to The Star to meet Ros and some of the other guys from work…

The eleventh hour. No one I recognised was in the pub when I arrived so I went and stood out the front. Then the phone rang, at about ten past five. Melissa from the agency. They want to offer me the job. 6 months. Starts Wednesday. Yeessssss!!!!!! Talk about leaving it to the last minute. And hey, I’m outside a pub, where my friends have just arrived, a good place to celebrate!

And then came the presents. So many presents. Chocolates from Edinburgh for both Vania and myself – couriered down in person by Clare, and theatre vouchers from the Social Committee. I had a sketchbook and a journal, a three-way pen, pencil, and PDA (should I have one) styless, £30 of book tokens and a bottle of wine to wash it all down. And of course a card with a multitude of signatures and kind messages. I circumvented the need to give a lengthy speech by offering short but heartfelt thank yous and then ceremoniously handing over the First Aid box to Jules, thus nicely and switching the attention off me for a moment, and getting a laugh.

Of course, in the great tradition of leaving speeches, Edward’s whilst not too embarrassing for me was factually inaccurate on a few points. True, I don’t like marmite or jelly. In fact I hate them, they are food of the devil. Utterly. And completely the work of Satan. But I do like buses, it’s just the Oxford to Bicester bus drivers who are also, like marmite, the work of the devil. I was also not once, the back end of the horse. I was the whole horse, and it was a dancing ‘backing’ horse to Mephistophilis’s Seven Deadly Sinners Elvis cover-band. And I never did go on holiday to build toilets either. Or at least I never did build toilets on holiday. We built fire circles instead. Still, it is pretty scary that the Global Production Director has visited shepline.com… Eeek!

Following work, a goodly party of us, decamped to the nice garden of the scary Cricketer’s Arms for a drink in the Spring sunshine before heading into twon and to Prezzo and a meal of delicious Italian food and some drinks afterwards at the nearby HaHa Bar. Heading back home at half-ten, it was exceedingly odd to think that this was still only a Monday. For those left at work tomorrow its going to be a funny ol’, and long ol’ week. Bless ’em…

The Dinner Table
Originally uploaded by shepline on 1 May ’07, 11.33pm BST PST.

Philippa and Kathy
Originally uploaded by shepline on 1 May ’07, 11.37pm BST PST.

Helen and Jules
Originally uploaded by shepline on 1 May ’07, 11.35pm BST PST.

Us (by Jules)
Originally uploaded by shepline on 1 May ’07, 11.38pm BST PST.

Today I skirted ’round the ringroad to the free Watereaton Park&Ride, and then cycled into town. Got there and back okay – and it was definitely quicker leaving Oxford at 5.30 on a bike than in a car! Signing up to the agency, was, on the one hand okay – I completely aced their tests with above average scores, but it did make me feel a bit low at the end of it. Next Tuesday I’m going to be out of a job, and that’s going to be a scary, frightening prospect. I really want the Sophos job now for a multitude of reasons, but at the same time I don’t want to get my hopes up or start planning for a future that hasn’t happened yet. I really am very very frightened of what the (near) future holds.

It’s next Tuesday morning. Good job I don’t drink to excess otherwise I might have to curb any excess at my leaving do!

Not one, to cross bridges before they’re hatched or count my leopards, I’ve also applied for a couple more jobs today and chased up some others. :=

It seems though that OUP don’t want me for that dream Children’s Book Designer job…

Arriving was a little weird. Drawing into the car park there were a load of staff outside in running kit and numbers on their back. Apparently they were competing in a ‘Challenge Day’ to decide who would represent the company in a Microsoft competition thing. Anyway I arrived, and duly got shown into a room and given my test to complete. There was a essay type question to describe the main differences between writing for print and the web, then a proofreading exercise and an html test. Got that finished and the HR lady took it away upstairs for Petra, the Head of Web/Marketing, to look over. Five or ten minutes she arrived and interviewed me, but it was more a chatty kind of interview rather than a grilling.

She was interviewing me for the job I applied for, Website Administrator, and also for one that I didn’t, a Content Editor. It transpired during the interview that I was basically overqualified for the Admin post, but ideal for the Content Editor position and a perfect fit with the right experience. The second half turned more to a general discussion of me as a person and my interests and hobbies. Two of the people who are required to help her make the final decision were not available this week and so I would need to be invited back for a ‘half hour’ second interview after the 30 April, and so whilst I’m not going to let up crossing those fingers, I am hopeful that I might find ‘something’.

Sadly though I probably won’t be in a postion to have got a job in time for my leaving – on 30 April – and so able to go out in a blaze of glory with a fat redundancy cheque and a good new job with a decent payrise. Still, one can still dream…

Bob Reisoul sat in his decommissioned military bunker, and watched the organic bacon spit and curl, and the slow dripping of hot fat into the open fire. Small balls of fat flares up and fizz where they hit the logs, and Bob pokes at them at the slices with her tongs. A noise jars the silence of the room. He turns, suddenly, and gets to her feet. Across the room, where the half naked bodies of his subjects are tied to the radiator his chief scientist is conducting his experiments, methodically testing blood samples on little strips of litmus paper.

The bodies were consumed by the fire, resembling nothing more than charred pieces of bacon by the end. The Professor knew that his experiments were risky, but could not have guessed that a few tests which looked so simple on paper could have ended so disastrously. The grant he received from the Organic Farmers Association to investigate the benefits of chemical-free food had resulted in an experiment with such hideous consequences that burning the pustule-ridden bodies was the only option open to him. How could he tell the OFA what had happened? And where would next year’s grant come from?

The smell of bacon makes me ill. You’d think that a combination of fire and pig would result in a pleasant call to the table, but I worked for Dr Frankenstein too long. Too many experiments with bits of bodies, which I finally came to see as bits of other people: too many late night fires started with paper covered in scrawled out notes, too much organic matter cooking and burning, until the sickening smell of it drove me to run out into the midnight rain. Still, at least I left. You should have seen the guy that replaced me…

Something in the air maybe? Following work, I went to a pub down the Cowley road with a different bunch of work colleagues, and ended up, picking up from a moment of someone else’s life, an idea for a whole new novel. Don’t you just love it how the creative mind works…

I wasn’t particularly surprised, but I was pretty disappointed and annoyed and pissed off, and I probably wasn’t the best of company on the drive home. Still, I went off to band, and played Mama Mia on piccolo, and now I feel better!

Web / Web Designer / Developer / Web Developer
Oxford
Salary: £30,000 starting salary + ++ for the right candidate
Benefits: Excellent +++++
Full-time
Permanent

Our client is one of Oxfordshire biggest employers who are currently seeking a highly skilled and experienced Web Developer to join their fantastic team.

Working alongside the counties very best in IT and Media you will require exceptional communication skills coupled with a proven track record in a similar role.

Your daily responsibilities will consist of:

* Managing corporate and client web sites
* Assisting all areas of the business and developing the on-line presence.
* Working across our advertising teams, ensuring the online products are live within specified timescales.
* Supporting the digital media team.

The successful candidate will need to be experienced in classic ASP, VBScript and SQL. Proficiency in HTML, JavaScript and CSS are also required.

Only the very best need apply for this one off opportunity with this counties highly prestigious client.

2. I need cat food. Well, Bella and Arthur need cat food. Today I ran out of it and had to nip round to the local shop and get some Go-Cat to tide me over until I get to pet shop and can get some Pro-Plan or James Wellbeloved science diet. Your off-the-shelf Whiskers and Go-Cat is expensive! 89p for a box of biscuits which is going to last next to no time. The science diets, although you buy them in bigger quantities are no more (or not significantly more) expensive, and they are heaps better for your pusscat than the supermarket alternatives.

3. Chapter 6, the closing chapter of Part One of my novel went into review at CritiqueCircle yesterday. I’ve already had three crits on it, all very complimentary, one I think did actually use the words ‘un-put-downable’ and apparently they sat down with a cup of coffee to read it, and when they got round to drinking it, the coffee was cold!

4. Amy was not at wind band tonight. All my other fellow flautists were though, but it did leave me playing solo piccolo. All things considering, I did pretty well. I just have to remember to breath from my diaphram and blow confidently…

5. I have a Play Meeting on Sunday. Hopefully we might get it to the point of then needing to find sacrifices volunteers to read the parts so that we can get a feel for how it works.

2. I need cat food. Well, Bella and Arthur need cat food. Today I ran out of it and had to nip round to the local shop and get some Go-Cat to tide me over until I get to pet shop and can get some Pro-Plan or James Wellbeloved science diet. Your off-the-shelf Whiskers and Go-Cat is expensive! 89p for a box of biscuits which is going to last next to no time. The science diets, although you buy them in bigger quantities are no more (or not significantly more) expensive, and they are heaps better for your pusscat than the supermarket alternatives.

3. Chapter 6, the closing chapter of Part One of my novel went into review at CritiqueCircle yesterday. I’ve already had three crits on it, all very complimentary, one I think did actually use the words ‘un-put-downable’ and apparently they sat down with a cup of coffee to read it, and when they got round to drinking it, the coffee was cold!

4. Amy was not at wind band tonight. All my other fellow flautists were though, but it did leave me playing solo piccolo. All things considering, I did pretty well. I just have to remember to breath from my diaphram and blow confidently…

5. I have a Play Meeting on Sunday. Hopefully we might get it to the point of then needing to find sacrifices volunteers to read the parts so that we can get a feel for how it works.

And yes, there always seems to be a but. But, there was someone with more project management experience who they decided to give it to. So no joys for me. Carry on pushing the issues live and sitting on top of a rapidly diminishing bag of contbugs for me. There is a glimmer of light though, at the end of the tunnel (or at least a little bit further down the track), apparently Sarah did go back to her manager and say that she had found someone to fill the vacancy of Web Producer, but that she would also like to have another Assistant Producer in the form of me, but sadly the 2006 budgets are full, so there was nothing to be done there. There are a lot more projects on the horizon though, and 2007 budgets are currently being worked out, so if something does come up she did say that she would give me a call and suggest that I might like to apply.

To recap…

Bad news: no new job for Thomas
Good news: definitely seem to be getting the hang of these interview thingamies but just lacking in experience…

…sounds like a Catch 22 situation, now where have I heard of that before!

2. That said, I am aching to get back to my novel. I am tantalisingly close to those two metaphorical three letter words, that I yearn finally to reach them. Not least, for I have a similar yearning for the torture of reading it all back through and revising out the dead wood from the story, and to resubmit to my writing circles at WriteWords, to YouWriteOn, and of course to Helen (that is, I am hoping that she will accept it again…??).

3. The rating for the first three chapters (c. 10,000 words) of Blood & Fire came through on Friday. You can see the review to date here. Together, they come together to award the story 2½ out of 5 – half marks – which I think is pretty good going for the first draft. Notably there are also a couple of 5 stars awarded to my use of language and settings.

4. Last week I effectively only worked three and a half days, for Thursday afternoon was taken up by an interview for a Web Producer job across the road in the ‘OBP Annex’. I think it went well – that is, I never know how well it has gone until I hear the result. It does sound like an interesting job; indeed it actually sounded better after having done the interview than from what I’d read in the job description and heard from talk to people. Hopefully I will hear by the end of the week, but until then…

5. That’s it. Jam making for tonight done and pan washed up. I have 14 lbs in 11 jars of damson jam. Yum!

and the letter
One side of A4
and a tangled mess of ideas
of thoughts; and ideas
of things I want to say
But can’t

In the past I have mentioned to higher authorities ‘Barb’s’ work ethic (she was ‘well taught’ I think, by Jon…). Today I didn’t need to say anything, as I spotted Louise’s eyes drift upwards – it was enough. Hopefully word will get back all on it’s own…

So, Wednesday night. One working day in, and already, what a roller coaster of a week this is turning out to be. There was the Bank Holiday on Monday (well not quite – Scotland have a funny system where you can choose any two out of four Monday’s off in May – so the Edinburgh office was open, as were all the typesetters out in India and China), and then yesterday I was out the office on top secret Project Nelly…

…I was expecting a busy week to confront me this morning. I arrived a bit earlier to get stuck in. Except I couldn’t, my computer wouldn’t allow me to log in. By the time I did gain access to the dread machine, I discovered that IT had been busy the night before upgrading our computers remotely to Office 2003 with all the “improvements to make life easier” built in. The thing is they are not improvements. They do not make our lives easier. Indeed the popup mail preview in Outlook is a security risk for confidentiality! So there we went, busily removing all of these ‘improvements’ to get our computers working properly and effectively again … and all the times the journals kept on coming in.

Added to this the Issue Compiliation for the next issue of Ecological Entomology which was scheduled for, err … yesterday… *laughs* Thank the lord for future actual dates in our tracking system…

Tomorrow is going to be just as busy. Every year, each journal has it’s own ‘Spring Meeting’ where everyone who works on the journal for Blackwell’s meets up with the society/editorial office for whom we publish it and we talk about what’s been happening and where it’s going. Or at least that’s what am led to believe happens – I’ve never been to one before. The Linn Soc spring meeting has already happened so I’m spared being thrown completely head first into shark infested waters (that comes next year). However it has been arranged for me to sit in on another one which is happening tomorrow, to give me an idea of what to expect. I’ve had to iron smart clothes for about the only event in the last five years requiring ironed clothes that’s not an interview.

This of course will take 3 hours out of the day, during which time more work will pile up, and so I sink deeper and deeper and…

However, the end is in site. Monday 13 June I board the new ship bound for different waters. Before then, apparently they have found someone to fiill my current position, and they are starting on 16 May. This will mean I will be able to shift some journals that way for their training period. In other words. Only one more week, during which time I aim to continue to come back to the surface, and then salvation is on hand…

Right now, there’s nothing to be bitchy about. Sure there’s things that could be done better, done faster, but right now, things are good. Everything’s good. And I want to talk about it. I want people to know, and to experience what I’m going through. I also think that some of it, if you excuse me for saying it, is actually pretty damn interesting.

I like it when a plan comes together.

Anyway, this aside, under my sole science divison ecqc role, I have more journals to put through online production, and there shall be a progressive role out of my new Linn Soc journals towards my official start date. Louise thought it best that we hand back my caretaker role of EEN to the team whence it came…

…imagine the surprise to both of us when we discover that it has been handed over to me! And they don’t want it back! Which leaves the poor little baby, imminently on the route to Singapore printing come 13 June. EEN was something additional to my current role. Doubtless all will become clear eventually, and I don’t mind that it’s been handed to me – after that’s what I wanted – but it would have been nice to have been told that that had happened.

My new home will be with a window seat, which will be different, and possibly encourage my plants to grow a little more, but it will only be temporarily. In June, the whole department is having a bit of a shuffle round and so no doubt I shall be nestled somewhere new (again).

I have now found out which journals I will be getting. My partners in crime will be BIJ, BOJ and ZOJ – and yes, if you say them correctly they do sound characters on a kid’s tv show. These are the Biological, the Botanical, and the Zoological journals of the Linnean Society respectively.

Lots of new species launches and so embargoes on the online copy. But I don’t get to worry about online ‘cos I’m going into print! ^__^

But I’ve been in that position for five years, and although my job has not been exactly the same for more than one of those five years, it still is basically the same job. Almost every day for last five years (with a brief hiatus about a year ago) I have received some electronic files for a mathematically absurd astronomical journal, whacked them through some automatic process, nursed them through some manual one’s and co-erced them live on the web. Do I really, if I’m honest, want to be doing this in five years time.

At my interview last week, I was brutally honest when asked what my career plans were. I said, if you told me what I would be doing in five years time, five years ago, I wouldn’t have believed you. Doesn’t mean I’ve regret anything. I’ve learnt alot, and not just technical skills. I’m still learning. The prospect of change is still scary though…

Yesterday? I was high. I was light-footed and grinnng inanely. If people who haven’t been trusted with the information I should not be telling, haven’t guessed what’s up, they must be blind. Somethings gotta be up with Thomas – they’ve had to have seen it.

Today? Today’s been different. To take this new Production Editor job I’m having to take a small pay cut, and I don’t get a huge salary to start with. When I was going into all of this, I thought that I might have to take some kind of paycut, and it seem like a factor. Not now though. That really isn’t important to me. Yes, I won’t be able to afford so many dvds, might need to tighten my belt hear and their for a while, but we won’t be forever, and truth is there’s a whole lot of people worse off. Really, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t feature in the equation. I’m excited for my new job, and the next month and a half are going to seem like a year or more. I’m giddy with excitement for it, and I’m looking back. It feels whole-heardedly right.

Plus, of course, they chose Me! And if that doesn’t make you all giddy inside, what will? Me! They chose Me!

Oh … my … god…!!!!

And they now expect me to concentrate on my day’s work?! Yeah right! Just write today off won’t you. I’ve got more exciting things on my mind…

Woo-Yayyyy!!!!!!!

Of course there are week’s when I remember fondly those day’s of old when I could go off for four days and complete a First Aid training course and come back like nothings happened (that was this time three years ago – exactly). Week’s like this one for example.

In general I don’t get stressed. It’s not worth it, so I just don’t. It leaves a funny taste in the mouth, so I don’t. To be honest, this week hasn’t really been stressful, but it has kind of, or maybe tense is more a fitting word? Yesterday I had a tense afternoon being assessed for my First Aid qualification. I got through, but it was tense. Today it took all morning to go through my emails, and then, just as I was getting close to doing my job, it was time to swallow down a banana, and go for my interview.

The interview went well – I think – but who am I to tell. You only really know if an interview went well if they offer you the job – if they don’t and you thought it did, what do you know? As my mind replays the questions in that annoying pointless way that it already does (I wonder if HR could develop some procedure to surgically remove interviews from the brain after you’ve done it?) I think, did I make that clear? should I have said that? did I make a mistake saying that…?, I think I gave it the best shot that I could have given it. Time will tell if I get it or not – I hope I do – but if I don’t then I still have my work on Ecological Entomology to look forward too, and to my Coaching course – and that is worth staying for in itself.

I want a new job. I want new challenges. I want less time to do more. I want to have to juggle things. I want to regret (in a good way) this list of demands in a few months time… *grins*