Anyone living in the UK will of course be aware that, following the days of fog pre-Christmas, we have been treated to days of rain post-Christmas. It has, to put it simply, been very wet. So wet in fact that I am now living on the shore of a lake. I’m not exactly sure how big a lake needs to be in order to be called such a thing, and if I’m honest we’re probably not talking a real lake, but I would definitely say that it is too big to be counted as a puddle. What’s more I have to drive through it, and reverse into it in order to leave for work and park my car in the evening. It’s big; it’s wet; and its not going away.

Okay, I’ll fess up. It’s blocked drain, or a blocked soak-away, I’m not entirely sure of the exact technical description of the whole in the ground with the broken grate over the top which is currently not doing the job for which it was intending. I’ve had an exploratory poke at it with a long stick, and even stuck my hand down as far as I dare, and I deduce that it is well and truly blocked. I also have a nasty feeling that it is my responsibility being technically speaking being situated in the miniscule part of England which I happen to own.

Tomorrow I shall phone the council and, pleading all ignorance say that there is a blocked drain thing at the end of C****** Gardens which is causing a flood. Hopefully they’ll come along with some variety of big lorry thing, hopefully with those fashionable flashing lights, pand suck whatever build up of yucky soily stuff is down there out.